MS Aufees’ Tau Fees

"Where you going Man?" asked Mani Shankar
Aufees’, the Indo-french hybrid who sells hardware products as a hobby and sleeps
with the software companies as serious business. This MS Aufees’ is a strange fellow
who can be seen in most PCs (Press Conferences). People have complained to me in the past
that he normally comes uninvited: "Why, a PC, you dummy," I said, hurrying
along. "Ho, Ho, Ho," guffawed MS Aufees’. "A Frog for a PC, that is
thick." Aufees’ was now rolling.

"If an Ass can go for
one, there is no reason why a Frog cannot," retorted I. "I know my
software…see I can even run my own Win98." I am as good as Judge Jackson, even if
he was not a Frog.

Aufees’ was not
convinced. "So what’re you going to do? Review software?" "Yeah,"
I said. "I will begin with you, and even your pappy, Gill Bates won’t recognize
you." "He anyway does not, so what’s new. He kicked me out when he Xchanged
me with that whtchamacallit. He has not looked back since then. I am on my own roll. In
fact, the old coon has done lesser than his enemies have done for me, but he takes all the
credit." I was aghast. Here was blood badmouthing blood. "So he will. And so he
should. What the hell is wrong with that? Don’t abuse your own blood. Aufees’
was blasé." "A frog will always be a frog. Expand your vision. Look around you.
Blood has nothing to do with it, it is Dollars, and Gill believes that X-changed will get
him more of that." "So he will, you ass," I said. "He is giving you
away free. Why I am told in countries such as India, where Gill counted cows on the road
and donated a million dollars, you are sold for as less as 3 cents per copy in special
cases, like sales etc…Gill has to make money somewhere."

"He is just trying to
upstage Gates, and he is terrified that if he does not, then someone else will and his
pride will be hurt. Bates has to be the first to upstage anyone in the world,"
sniggered Aufees’. "But isn’t he trying to invest big-time in India with
Anti and my Backside."

"No. no. He is trying
to be a good citizen of India by donating more money, and keeping some influential
politicians happy."

"But why would he need
to do that, he owns billions."

"Well!" I
drawled. "Basic instincts, you see. He is not able to influence politicians in the
US, so India is just about the only country where they treat him like royalty. And if
Judge Jackson has his way, Bates will be able to afford to live in India the way he has
lived in Seattle. He has to have a roof over his head, you know…."

Frog learns that White
Goods giant Videocon’s tie-up with Microsoft may be bearing fruit as the former has
announced that they will be entering into home PCs. For Microsoft, it is perfect, from
PC-con to Videocon….

Rajiv Nair of Microsoft is
a happy man. So he should be, for he is in August company. Remember August ’95, when
the Win95 crashed at launch and with it crashed the Microsoft pride. Well, now, God Gates
has done the same thing at Spring Comdex, three years later, where Win98 has crashed. Nair
might just echo what Apple execs told Microsoft in ’95: "Been there, done
that."

Okay. So the US FTC has
thrown out the Comdig (Compaq-Digital) deal while the European Commission has approved it.
What will Compaq do? Frog thinks that there are only two options open for it—one,
become a European company, shift headquarters to French Riviera and post Bob Palmer there.
He anyway had a holiday while at Digital. Second, rename the entire company as
Microsoft—for, investigating Microsoft is the only thing that the American and the
European justice officials agree upon.

Strategically Yours

 

The Frog

Frogview of the world: Rahul
Bajaj will make millions if he licenses the KB 125 ad line to Microsoft: ‘Don’t
mess with Me’.

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