MS Aufees’ Tau Fees

DQI Bureau
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"W face="Arial" size="2" color="#000000">here you going Man?" asked Mani Shankar

Aufees’, the Indo-french hybrid who sells hardware products as a hobby and sleeps

with the software companies as serious business. This MS Aufees’ is a strange fellow

who can be seen in most PCs (Press Conferences). People have complained to me in the past

that he normally comes uninvited: "Why, a PC, you dummy," I said, hurrying

along. "Ho, Ho, Ho," guffawed MS Aufees’. "A Frog for a PC, that is

thick." Aufees’ was now rolling.


"If an Ass can go for

one, there is no reason why a Frog cannot," retorted I. "I know my

software...see I can even run my own Win98." I am as good as Judge Jackson, even if

he was not a Frog.

Aufees’ was not

convinced. "So what’re you going to do? Review software?" "Yeah,"

I said. "I will begin with you, and even your pappy, Gill Bates won’t recognize

you." "He anyway does not, so what’s new. He kicked me out when he Xchanged

me with that whtchamacallit. He has not looked back since then. I am on my own roll. In

fact, the old coon has done lesser than his enemies have done for me, but he takes all the

credit." I was aghast. Here was blood badmouthing blood. "So he will. And so he

should. What the hell is wrong with that? Don’t abuse your own blood. Aufees’

was blasé." "A frog will always be a frog. Expand your vision. Look around you.

Blood has nothing to do with it, it is Dollars, and Gill believes that X-changed will get

him more of that." "So he will, you ass," I said. "He is giving you

away free. Why I am told in countries such as India, where Gill counted cows on the road

and donated a million dollars, you are sold for as less as 3 cents per copy in special

cases, like sales etc...Gill has to make money somewhere."

"He is just trying to

upstage Gates, and he is terrified that if he does not, then someone else will and his

pride will be hurt. Bates has to be the first to upstage anyone in the world,"

sniggered Aufees’. "But isn’t he trying to invest big-time in India with

Anti and my Backside."


"No. no. He is trying

to be a good citizen of India by donating more money, and keeping some influential

politicians happy."

"But why would he need

to do that, he owns billions."

"Well!" I

drawled. "Basic instincts, you see. He is not able to influence politicians in the

US, so India is just about the only country where they treat him like royalty. And if

Judge Jackson has his way, Bates will be able to afford to live in India the way he has

lived in Seattle. He has to have a roof over his head, you know...."


Frog learns that White

Goods giant Videocon’s tie-up with Microsoft may be bearing fruit as the former has

announced that they will be entering into home PCs. For Microsoft, it is perfect, from

PC-con to Videocon....

Rajiv Nair of Microsoft is

a happy man. So he should be, for he is in August company. Remember August ’95, when

the Win95 crashed at launch and with it crashed the Microsoft pride. Well, now, God Gates

has done the same thing at Spring Comdex, three years later, where Win98 has crashed. Nair

might just echo what Apple execs told Microsoft in ’95: "Been there, done


Okay. So the US FTC has

thrown out the Comdig (Compaq-Digital) deal while the European Commission has approved it.

What will Compaq do? Frog thinks that there are only two options open for it—one,

become a European company, shift headquarters to French Riviera and post Bob Palmer there.

He anyway had a holiday while at Digital. Second, rename the entire company as

Microsoft—for, investigating Microsoft is the only thing that the American and the

European justice officials agree upon.


Strategically Yours

The Frog

Frogview of the world:


Bajaj will make millions if he licenses the KB 125 ad line to Microsoft: ‘Don’t

mess with Me’.